Love.

So, for those of you who don’t know, about 2 months ago I had major spinal surgery on my L5 lumbar disc because the disc in question decided to make like a jelly donut and ooze all over my sciatic nerve, resulting in crippling pains from my lower back to my right ankle for the majority of 2010. Fun, right? ANYWAYS. The operation was incredibly successful and aside from some residual numbness in the areas where the afflicted nerve runs, my back is better. BUT. Its amazing how things continue to cost money whether you’ve been unable to work for the past 7 weeks or not. Combined with the fact that I have an extremely high stress job, residual medical costs, my car needed an oil change 1k miles ago/the engine light is on, and I’m uprooting my life to go to the school of my dreams (which, coincidently, also costs money I don’t have) in 10 days, lets just say I have a lot to do in that time, and basically no spare time in which to do it/no money to pay for anything with.

So, you might say I’m just a little stressed out.

 My big brother apparently heard my crying end of the conversation with my mom tonight which involved her telling me to act like an adult and ask my dad for the money (which I’ve been doing since my gas tank won’t fill itself - its like asking Glen Beck to be reasonable, if Glen Beck was married to the most selfish hobbit that ever graced this earth). OH. Also, I hadn’t eaten an actual meal in 4 days because that’s another thing broke people can’t do. So Alex (my brother) leaves, comes back with tons of Chinese food, hands me 2 quarts of the proper oil and $100, and just said he knew how it felt to have so little despite trying so hard and he knew I would do the same of our roles were reversed. “If I can help take even one thing off your mind before you start this huge phase of your life, I will.” I have the best brother in the world. Nobody has ever done anything like that for me before.

Some days, I wonder why I haven’t given up hope. Then someone does something like this… And suddenly, I remember.